Author Archive

Why Spock May be Guilty of Genocide

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

spockler

I finally got around to seeing the new Star Trek film. Overall, it is enjoyable, but I couldn’t figure out why Eric Bana is so pissed off all the time. Then I realized that we’ve never really heard  his side of the story, only Spock’s.  Let’s try to approach this as reasonably as possible from what we know from the film.

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12 Things I’ve Learned from Watching Television

Friday, April 24th, 2009

I have not made  a post in almost a year now, but I promised Hikago that I would before the end of this school term. Don’t worry though, since I used my extra time to focus on the more important things in life … like watching television.

  1. Any TV shows must use one of the following settings – cops, doctors, federal agent, criminal, or mundane life.
  2. The main character is a loose cannon who only like to play by his own rules, at the chagrin of his by-the-book boss (played by Lance Reddick).
  3. The ultimate bad guy must make an appearance within five episodes of the season. If  not, it only means the bad guy is actually the friend of the main character, and will ultimately reveal himself to be the antagonist.  (Unless the show you’re watching is produced by J.J.Abrams, in which case you will never, ever find out who, or what is going on, ever)
  4. No one important ever dies, unless it’s in the movie version of the TV franchise, then an important character will most certainly perish. If someone does end up dying, they’ll come back in a later episode as a ghost/time traveler/albino clone/hallucination/robot or mysterious resurrected (only to disappear again in the failtastic finale).
  5. If the hero is in an intimate and loving relationship at the start of the show, something terrible is going to happen to either the hero, or the partner.
  6. If the hero is not in an intimate and loving relationship, he/she will be by the end of the series.
  7. When someone falls off a high rise building, he always lands on a car.
  8. When an explosion occurs on a city street, all the car alarms in the block will go off.
  9. If a scene starts with two people in bed, one of them (the important one) will get a phone call.
  10. If a scene ends with two people in bed, they’re not going to be sleeping.
  11. The biggest asshole on the show is also the one the viewers like best.
  12. No fat chicks.
  13. Any show that attempts to break the rules above will surely be canceled before the end of its first season.

Bite-Size Movie Reviews of the Month — May 08

Tuesday, May 27th, 2008

Gonna take a while to get back to the old movie-watching habits. My goal is to have seen all the notable 07 films by next month.

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For Shizz up the Spout – Three Movies that Just Aren’t “Totally Boss”

Wednesday, May 7th, 2008

It is pretty much understood that most independent films, particularly ones made by first time directors and writers, will not gather much of an audience. They may bring it around the festival circuit, or they may get a few open-minded fans, and if they’re really lucky, they can find a good distributor, sell enough tickets to keep the producers happy, and gather enough credibility to finance their next project. But every once in a while, such a independent film (usually a comedy) comes along and makes it very, VERY big. I’m talking about hundreds of millions in box office revenue and a multitude of media attention. In 2006, there was Little Miss Sunshine; before that, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and most recently, it was Juno.

Zach

Good luck exploring the infinite abyss, Braff. (I’ll explain how this is relevant)

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Bite-Size Reviews of the Month — Apr 08

Friday, April 25th, 2008

I saw one whole movie this month, but at least now I’m done with exams.

Southland Tales – It’s a movie staring Dwyane Johnson, Justing Timberlake, Seamm William Scott, Mandy Moore, Sarah Michelle Gellar, and half of the cast of Saturday Night Live. How can it possibly go wrong?

Stop Uwe Boll!

Wednesday, April 9th, 2008

I’m just trying to get the word out on this online petition. The goal is 1 million names, a number is set by Uwe Boll himself. There are 140800 signatures so far, but considering that it went up from 101591 in about… 26 hours, I’d say that’s pretty good. Spread the news.

http://www.petitiononline.com/RRH53888/petition.html

Bite-Sized Movie Reviews of the Month – Mar 08

Thursday, March 27th, 2008

I did not get a chance to see many films this month. :’( I’ll make up for it when I finish my exams.
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Your Anime Sucks – The Twelve Kingdoms

Saturday, March 15th, 2008

Here’s the second post on the series Your Anime Sucks, where I, someone who is unfamiliar with anime, casually share my opinion on a series recommended by Hikago or Eien.

The Twelve Kingdoms is adapted from a series of fantasy novels set in a mythical (and very symmetrical) world that lies on an alternate plane of existence somewhere west of Japan. This world is evenly divided into twelve kingdoms and is closely watched by its creators. The ruler of each kingdom is chosen by twelve holy unicorns (Yes. I said unicorns…), and the ruler rules the kingdom by the will of the heavens.

unicorn!

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For the Sake of Humanity

Thursday, February 28th, 2008

Here’s the trailer for the new M. Night Shayamalan Movie

Here’s how it ends – they were killed by Shayamalan’s giant ego.

Now that you know, there’ll be no reason to see it. I just saved 2 hours of your life. You should thank me.

Bite-Size Movie Reviews of the Month — Feb 08

Monday, February 25th, 2008

I’ve been a little busy this month, so the list is much shorter.

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